Netquix: V/H/S (2012)

Netflix content reviewed in 150 words. Or thereabouts.

V/H/S (2012)

Dirs: Adam Wingard / Ti West / Glenn McQuiad / Joe Swanberg

1 hour 56 minutes

A found footage horror portmanteau, V/H/S plays much like the storage medium after which it’s named: cheap, clunky and dated. A surprisingly obnoxious raft of shallow plot ciphers pummel through a selection of largely forgettable tales, stitched together loosely by a story populated entirely by despicable sex pests.

 Slithers of tension and short bursts of strong gore aside, the film’s most jaw-dropping moments come not from the scares, but its gender politics. Horror might not be the most liberally progressive of genres admittedly, but it’s hard to find another example where every single female either disrobes or plays submissive slut. Or both. That almost every male character is a beer-swilling belligerent dickbag is hardly adequate recompense.

There’s low-rent thrills to be had (a passable Friday The 13^th parody, cheekily titled “Tuesday the 17^th” and a creepy webcam thriller) but frankly, life is short, and this film sadly isn't. Avoid.

3/10