Netquix: Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters

New semi-regular feature, in which I review Netflix content in exactly 150 words. Or thereabouts.

Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters (2013)

The good...

A dizzying flurry of whip-pans, excessive CGI and casual nudity, Tommy Wirkola’s foul-mouthed fairytale is an adolescent wet-dream achieved on a Hollywood budget. With a plot not so much thin as ravaged by famine, the film’s dot-to-dot approach should satisfy even the shortest of attention spans: inexplicably-accented hag-hunters Jeremy Renner and Gemma Arterton attempt a kiddie rescue venture whilst preparing for a witch-slap smackdown with big bad, Famke Janssen.

...the bad...

...and the fugly.

 So far, so Grimm, but it’s not all sub-par sorcery. Despite the thudding functionality of the dialogue, it’s delivered with a twinkly charm from the leads, particularly Renner (channelling his best grizzled Harrison Ford).  And as you might expect from the director of Dead Snow, there’s a rock ‘n’ roll sensibility hard-wired throughout the action that’s rarely less than entertaining. 

Ultimately though, a movie much like the eponymous siblings’ candy incarceration; a rotten interior heavily disguised by a superficially tempting facade. 

4/10